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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

World’s Worst New Year Resolutions

Posted in Humor on December 30, 2009| 1 Comment »

As we move toward New Year’s Eve, I have been thinking about resolutions.  Today I resolve  that tomorrow I will  offer some suggestions for 2010 New Year resolutions.  But for today, here are four of the worst resolutions I have run across in a while!

  1. “I’m going to show my wife how much I really love her this year. I am going to save and save and take her on a cruise on that new really big Titanic ship.” A loving husband.
  2. “I am going to quit this group and find a group that has a chance of making it big this year.” Pete Best , original drummer for The Beatles.
  3. “I am going to work out really hard this year so I will put on lots of muscle so I will look like a real manly man.” Richard Simmons.
  4. “I will do something this year to get myself more TV exposure.” O.J. Simpson.

For tomorrow, be thinking about what resolutions you might want to make – just aim higher than those listed above.

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Just Have Fun

Posted in Family, Humor, Motivational on November 3, 2009| Leave a Comment »

I was reading over some notes I took from a seminar this past summer with Ruth Haley Barton and I began to have ideas for a blog post dealing with what she said.  But for some reason, as I meditated on how to put my thoughts into words, it dawned on me – most of my posts lately have been pretty  serious.  I mean, I hope that you have found some glimmer of benefit from some of them, but by and large, the content has been fairly heavy.

Soooo – today, something different.  Today, we talk about fun.

Why in the world would someone who is not a follower of Christ want to choose a life that he or she perceives as dull, boring and demanding?  Answer – he or she won’t!  The life of a Christian should be fun, exciting and filled with adventure.  Is yours?

Here is what I want you to do – quit reading this and go have some fun.

Ok – you are still reading!  That can mean only one of two things.  Either you aren’t paying attention or you don’t even remember how to have fun.  If you fall into the first category – go back to the top of this post and start over.  If, however, you fall into the category of not knowing how to have fun, here are some suggestions:

  • Go to lunch with someone for no reason at all
  • Take off early, rent a movie and just kick back this evening
  • Go out to a nice dinner with your significant other
  • Pull out  a game you haven’t played in a while and get the kids gathered around the table and have a game night
  • Read a book that has nothing to do with your job or anything else you could actually learn from
  • Get on the intercom in your office and keep paging yourself (don’t even disguise your voice)

Be creative – God has a great sense of humor!

HAVE FUN!!!!!

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Lesson On a Mini-Bike

Posted in Formation, Humor, Motivational on October 26, 2009| 1 Comment »

One of my earliest memories on a motorized vehicle was when I was about 6 years old or so.  My dad had found a mini-bike.  Now for you folks not familiar with such things, a mini-bike is a small two-wheeled invention with a five horse or so motor mounted on it – no gears, just a throttle and a brake.  This one was red and it had black handle grips and a black seat – the seat was a piece of plywood with 3″ foam on top and covered in black shag carpet – yeah, real shag baby.  It was stylish.

The brake was a foot lever that when pushed would make a steel plate press against the tire – yep, that’s how you stopped (in theory anyway).  My first time on that contraption was in the alley behind our house.  Now a key point to the story comes at this point – at the west end of our alley was a street but at the east end, the alley made a T and there was a row of houses backed up to the alley, each with a back fence (you may be guessing what comes next but don’t get ahead of me).

My dad pull started the engine, I got on and away I went, straight down the alley.  Things were progressing well until I realized I was going to have to slow down at the end of the alley.  A minor point omitted to this point, and unbeknownst to me at the time, is that the throttle had a tendency to stick.  I let off the throttle but nothing happened, I maintained my break-neck speed (probably about 20 miles per hour).  I began to push the brake with my foot but it wasn’t helping.

I got to the end of the alley and went head-on into a fence.  Oddly enough, that stopped me.  I missed a telephone pole by inches so I walked away with only a deep scrape on my knee from glancing off the pole.  But the fence didn’t fare so well – I had knocked it down.  I am sure my dad spent the better part of a day repairing the fence so it was fine.  But I was left with a fear of that mini-bike and a scar that I carried on my knee for years to come.

I quickly got over my fear, but the scar remained.

I am reminded today that we all have scars – all kinds of scars – physical, emotional and maybe even spiritual.  But here is the challenge for today, don’t let the scars hold you back, use them to remind you of the lessons you learn along the journey – let those lessons make you stronger.

God wants to use all of you to make a difference – scars and all!

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Praying At Gun Point

Posted in Grace, Humor on October 21, 2009| Leave a Comment »

I read something this morning and I thought, maybe I need to go back and qualify what I said yesterday.  The post yesterday dealt with focusing on God even in the mundane tasks, giving God the glory for everything we do.  In that way, we will begin to experience God’s presence in all things.  But I think this might be taking that thought a little too far.

As I read this story it made me laugh and still does – my first thought was, “I wonder if this was a pastor?”  But I know that could not be the case because some of the money was left behind.

As for the clerk, what bravery and concern – I am not sure I could have prayed at gun point – could you?

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