Clay in the Hands

This past weekend, I had the honor of performing a wedding ceremony for a young couple.  The bride is the daughter of some of our dearest friends.  The ceremony was beautiful and the night went well.  But one of the most meaningful experiences of the night was at the reception when the grandparents were given the opportunity to offer some advice as to how to have a long and happy marriage.  Both sets of grandparents have been married 55 years – what an accomplishment!

The best advice I heard was in order to have a long and happy marriage, you have to keep Christ central in your lives and in your relationship.  I believe that is very true and obviously, the grandparents are living proof that it works.

So how do we do that?  Here are some ideas.

The first thing I would say is that God planned marriage as an institution.  That is the way we are wired – for a relationship.  So we are made to desire and need a mate.  However, God also gave us an identity as a person.  So even though God’s plan includes becoming tied to another person, we were never intended to lose our identity through the marriage relationship but rather the relationship should complete our identities.

The second thing I would say is joined to the first – as individuals united by marriage, we can never disregard our own individual faith.  If we ever look to our partner to be the person of faith, then we are hindering our marriage relationship.  We must constantly be growing in our individual faith in order that our faith together as a couple can grow as well.

Once we understand these two principles, then we can do some things together to continue to focus our relationship as a couple on Jesus.

1. Pray together – set aside time as often as you can to pray together.  Pray for your relationship.  Pray for one another.  Pray for your family.
2. Worship together – experience times of worship together.  Go to church together.
3. Study together – read a passage of scripture and talk about it together.  Read a book together and discuss it.
4. Make time to be together – it is impossible to grow a relationship if we don’t spend time with the other person.  Have dates.

These are just a few suggestions as to how we can make and keep our marriage relationship centered on Jesus.

I must confess, I don’t do a great job of these.  But being a part of the wedding on Saturday reminded me of their importance.  So starting today, I am going to make these things a priority.

Have a great week!