Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

Time With My Wife

It’s Friday – my day off!  And as if that weren’t enough to be happy about, my wife took a day of vacation.  Yesterday, as we were getting ready for work, I asked her what she was going to do on her day off.  She looked at me in the mirror and said, “Hang out with you!”

Wow!  Am I lucky.  The boys are in school and its just my wonderful wife and me.  I believe a trip to Lubbock is in the works as well as some time to talk and hang out.  I am excited!  It is so important to make time for one another.  How can we expect a relationship to grow and remain healthy if we never spend time together?

This just leaves me with one question – “Why in the world am I sitting at my computer writing this?”  Gotta go!



How would you spend the day with your spouse or significant other?  Take the time to let them know today.

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A Day of Love

Today is the day of love.  February 14 – Valentine’s Day.  Guys, if this is the first you have heard of this, it’s not too late, but it may cost you!

Why is it that we have a day set aside to remember our significant other?  Is it because we only care on this day?  Is it because we just needed something else to celebrate in February?  Or is it that we tend to take those we love for granted and so this is a way to make sure we think of them at least once per year?

Honestly, it may be a combination of the latter two.  But at any rate, this is the day we set aside to tell our special person we love them – that we care – and that our lives would not be the same without them.

Kristi and I very rarely purchase gifts for one another.  We used to, but when the kids started coming along, we decided that we would rather make sure we could do things for them.  So we have found other ways to express our appreciation and love for one another – dinner out, special favors around the house, phone calls, etc.

The point is this – if you have a special person in your life today, you need to make sure they know you love them.  Just follow these three easy steps:

  1. Tell them you love them
  2. Make them feel special and appreciated
  3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 each day for the rest of you life

Not difficult but it does take commitment.

What will you do today to make the love of your life feel special?



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This past weekend, I had the honor of performing a wedding ceremony for a young couple.  The bride is the daughter of some of our dearest friends.  The ceremony was beautiful and the night went well.  But one of the most meaningful experiences of the night was at the reception when the grandparents were given the opportunity to offer some advice as to how to have a long and happy marriage.  Both sets of grandparents have been married 55 years – what an accomplishment!

The best advice I heard was in order to have a long and happy marriage, you have to keep Christ central in your lives and in your relationship.  I believe that is very true and obviously, the grandparents are living proof that it works.

So how do we do that?  Here are some ideas.

The first thing I would say is that God planned marriage as an institution.  That is the way we are wired – for a relationship.  So we are made to desire and need a mate.  However, God also gave us an identity as a person.  So even though God’s plan includes becoming tied to another person, we were never intended to lose our identity through the marriage relationship but rather the relationship should complete our identities.

The second thing I would say is joined to the first – as individuals united by marriage, we can never disregard our own individual faith.  If we ever look to our partner to be the person of faith, then we are hindering our marriage relationship.  We must constantly be growing in our individual faith in order that our faith together as a couple can grow as well.

Once we understand these two principles, then we can do some things together to continue to focus our relationship as a couple on Jesus.

  1. Pray together – set aside time as often as you can to pray together.  Pray for your relationship.  Pray for one another.  Pray for your family.
  2. Worship together – experience times of worship together.  Go to church together.
  3. Study together – read a passage of scripture and talk about it together.  Read a book together and discuss it.
  4. Make time to be together – it is impossible to grow a relationship if we don’t spend time with the other person.  Have dates.

These are just a few suggestions as to how we can make and keep our marriage relationship centered on Jesus.

I must confess, I don’t do a great job of these.  But being a part of the wedding on Saturday reminded me of their importance.  So starting today, I am going to make these things a priority.

Have a great week!

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Making the Bed

Some days, I make the coffee.  Some days, Kristi makes it.  The only days it’s a problem is when neither one remembers to do it.

Every weekday morning, we share the responsibility of making the bed – a task that is left to the last one up on the weekends.

I never even thought about all this until this morning as we were pulling up the comforter and re-setting the pillows in their spots.  It is simply one of those things that for the past 20 years we have just done.  It’s our routine.

Even though these are mundane examples, we have a partnership that works.  I love it when we get to spend time together.  I depend on her support.  I cherish her love.  God has blessed us with a relationship that I all too often take for granted.

I am not saying our relationship is perfect.  Marriage is work – somedays it’s real work.  But any relationship worth fighting for is going to be work.  But I can tell you it’s worth it.

My challenge for you (and me) today is to stop and think about even the mundane things and appreciate your mate.  Don’t let this day pass you by without letting your spouse know how much you love, appreciate and cherish them!  Show them today.


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Today is the day!  20 years of living under the same roof.  It was 20 years ago today that Kristi and I said, “I Do!”

I am not sure that either of us really understood what the next 20 years would be like, but we knew we wanted to experience them together.  A little known fact is that Kristi and I are a blind date that worked out.  I was in graduate school in Abilene and she was a recent Tech grad working in Midland.

On January 6, 1989, I drove to Midland to meet up with my life long friend and his girlfriend.  They had set the whole thing up.  We went to Kristi’s apartment where she had cooked dinner for all of us – enchilada’s (I still love her enchilada’s).  After we ate we went bowling!  Who would thought that a blind date the ended up in a bowling alley would lead to 20 years of marriage!

The date went well so I asked to see her again the next night.  The Sandhills Rodeo happens each January and so we made the drive over to Odessa the next night to the rodeo.  Thus, began the long distance courting.

We began seeing each other frequently.  We even got to the point we were meeting in the middle – there used to be a neat little country diner in Colorado City (which is between Abilene and Midland).  Before class each day, I worked at UPS as a loader so I had to be at work at 3:30 or 4 am each morning.  There were many times we sat and talked to the point that I drove home in time to change clothes and go to work.

By May of 1989 I was wrapping up most of my graduate classes and began looking at the seminary in Fort Worth.  So in June I moved to Fort Worth.  Now our 3 hour long distance relationship turned to 5 1/2 hours.  Obviously, that continued (with many Southwest flights between Love Field – appropriately named – and Midland Air Terminal.

All of that history to say, our blind date turned into a long distance relationship that resulted in 20 years of happy marriage.  We had never lived in the same town before we married.  Now we have lived under the same roof for 20 years!

Kristi, it has been an amazing ride and I can’t wait to see what the next 20, 30, 40 or 50 years brings our way!

I love you more today than I ever thought possible!

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Priority of Marriage

I had the opportunity of performing a wedding ceremony on Saturday.  The young couple came to me last fall and asked if I would do the service.  I had known the bride to be for many years and had only known the young man for the last year or so through the Baptist Student Ministries at South Plains College.

One of the things I require before performing a wedding is that the couple go through premarital counseling.  So they both agreed to meet with me several times over the last two months.

I say all this to say that through our time together, I got to know the both of them much better and the more I learned about each of them, the more I came to believe that they are truly meant for each other.  They compliment one another just as God intended.

But the most important aspect to their relationship is how they have kept God in the center.  They met through their involvement in the BSM and served together there.  They have continued to focus on their own personal spiritual growth as well as the spiritual growth of their relationship.

We could all take some lessons from them.  When is the last time you prayed with your spouse?  Or spent some time discussing God’s plan for your family together?

Make time today to pray together.  God will honor it!

I made this statement during the wedding ceremony on Saturday but it is true for every couple – As long as our focus is on loving and pleasing God, and loving and pleasing our spouse, then there is nothing in this world that can come between you.

Chad and Amanda, may your marriage be full of blessings and may you continue to grow more and more into the people God intends for you to be – both individually and as a family.

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If you read my post last Thursday, you know that Kristi and I got away to celebrate 2o years of marriage.  In my planning for our time together, I wanted to have at least one romantic meal.  I did my research and even emailed the San Antonio Visitors center to get some ideas.  After all that, I decided on a restaurant that would be the perfect choice.  I even made reservations to ensure that our evening would be memorable.

We took a cab to the area and arrived early to make sure that we could find the site of our candle light experience.  Promptly at 7:30, we walked up to the hostess and I said rather smugly, “We are the Hill’s and we have a reservation for 2.”

The hostess picked up two menus and asked us to follow her to our special table.  It did not take too long, as we strolled through a restaurant of empty tables, to figure out that we were the only ones in the joint.  As I looked around, I could see a sheer curtain separating our fine dining from the breakfast buffet line.  Come to find out, we were in a hotel restaurant in downtown San Antonio – and yes, we were the only ones there!

What I thought was going to be a fine dining experience in an eclectic, romantic atmosphere, turned out to be something similar to a trip to Denny’s with candles and linen napkins.  Not what I had envisioned at all!  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Denny’s as much as the next guy, but not for a romantic dinner to celebrate 20 years of wedded bliss!

Kristi was a great sport – I think she could see my embarrassment and disappointment.  But the one good thing about being married for 20 years, when it was all said and done, we had a great time and now we have a humorous memory of our romantic evening in San Antonio.

Have you ever had a “date” with your spouse that didn’t turn out as you planned?

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A Day Away

Today, Kristi and I are taking a couple of days to get away.  We will be celebrating 20 years of marriage next month, but this was the only 2 days we could get away together for the next 3 months – so here we are.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful partner for life.  I have mentioned before that she is a perfect pastor’s wife.  It has been a great 20 years!  I am excited about the next 20, 40 or whatever God gives us!

Thank you Lord for your giving us each other!

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I am one of the most blessed men in the world!  I have three amazing sons who have been the joy of our lives since their respective births.  I also have a beautiful, caring and committed wife of nearly 20 years.  I don’t normally do this, but I need to take this space today to tell you about my wife.  She is the perfect pastor’s wife – I mean perfect!

She is not the normal “traditional” pastor’s wife.  She doesn’t play the piano or enjoy singing in the choir – and for me, that is perfect!  She doesn’t like being in the spotlight at all.  So some may ask, “Then how can she be the perfect pastor’s wife?”

She is compassionate and caring to a fault.  She has a quiet strength that comes out in many ways.  This past weekend, we walked with some dear friends through a very difficult time.  Kristi was right there with me, ministering to the family in the hospital and in their home later.  I am so proud of her.  The coolest thing is that she didn’t even realize that she was doing it.  It just happened out of her loving and compassionate heart!

The perfect pastor’s wife!

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Today Is a Big Day

Today Kristi and I celebrate 19 wonderful years of marriage.  It does not seem possible that we have been married 19 years.  I think back to what life was like in 1990 and think of how things have changed.  The world is a different place now.  We have seen so much happen over the years.  The wall fell, the internet got started, career changes, job changes, buying and selling homes and moving, and of course the birth of not one, not two, but three wonderful boys – continual change.

But the constant has been the love that we share.  We have been through a lot together.  We are both stronger today than then, but more importantly, our relationship is stronger!  I love you Kristi!  I look forward to the rest of our lives together.

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